Weeks would pass without me seeing or hearing from her and I would feel as if a strange distance was beginning to growing between us. I never could understand where it came from mainly because in person that distance was non-existent. I drove myself insane with the thoughts of her and the possible scenarios as to why it had to be this way.
In rare occasions, as an escape from my unmanageable thoughts, I would phone her only to be disappointed by the sound of her voicemail. Each time I would make myself an empty promise of giving up on my unrealistic fantasy, but I would find myself disregarding every promise when it was her voice I heard on the other end of the line.
We went from hot to cold when it came to seeing each other and each time my withdrawals became a little tougher to handle. After experiencing couple of cold weeks, we immediately jumped into hot:
1. Met up to watch Pineapple Express and had crapes afterwords. She took my flirt radar for a spin with her sexual innuendos that could be taken both ways but were clearly not innocent.
2. Invited me to her house one Sunday morning for Mimosas. In my pink juicy sweats, white thermal and pony tail, Mimosas were nowhere in sight. Instead we spend the afternoon lounging on her bed as I flirtatiously played with her hair for hours.
3. Picked me up at 8 a.m the following Sunday and took me to church with her.
Anxious to see her again, I booked her two months in advance for a date to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button in December, just to secure my place in her schedule. And then, without a warning, we were back to cold.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Dinner Delivery
It was a quiet, warm night and the outside grill was whispering my name. A little hungry, I pulled out the lamp chops from the freezer and headed to the grill. The crispy smoke lifted and I was soon surrounded by the mouthwatering smell. I know one person that shares the same appreciation for food as myself that would love my grilled lamb I thought to myself.
Watching the smoke disappear into the air, I indulged in my boiling pot of magical thoughts of sharing my dinner with her. As if my thinking was loud enough for her to hear, the ringing of my phone woke me up from my daydream. She told me she was watching a basketball game and thought of me. I jumped to the opportunity to tell her I was grilling lamb and it made me think of her and I offered to bring her home dinner delivery of grilled lamb.
"How long would it take for you to come over?" At this point, I didn't care whether she was asking because she wanted lamb or because she wanted to see me. Half an hour later, I arrived at her front step. Amidst all the excitement and fuss, I realized I had forgotten her lamb dinner.
I continuously apologized as she laughed it off and made fun of my air-head move. I offered to drive back and get it, but she instructed that I was to sit down in front of her t.v and distracted me with Family Guy. Loosing ourselves in deep conversation, we snacked on chips and the obnoxious lines of Stewie and Brian slowly faded into the background. As delicious as that lamb dinner might have been, it could have never compared to what we shared over those bland chips.
Watching the smoke disappear into the air, I indulged in my boiling pot of magical thoughts of sharing my dinner with her. As if my thinking was loud enough for her to hear, the ringing of my phone woke me up from my daydream. She told me she was watching a basketball game and thought of me. I jumped to the opportunity to tell her I was grilling lamb and it made me think of her and I offered to bring her home dinner delivery of grilled lamb.
"How long would it take for you to come over?" At this point, I didn't care whether she was asking because she wanted lamb or because she wanted to see me. Half an hour later, I arrived at her front step. Amidst all the excitement and fuss, I realized I had forgotten her lamb dinner.
I continuously apologized as she laughed it off and made fun of my air-head move. I offered to drive back and get it, but she instructed that I was to sit down in front of her t.v and distracted me with Family Guy. Loosing ourselves in deep conversation, we snacked on chips and the obnoxious lines of Stewie and Brian slowly faded into the background. As delicious as that lamb dinner might have been, it could have never compared to what we shared over those bland chips.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Fading Sparkle
The colors her presence once brought into my life slowly began to fade away with each day that she was not at work. My almost realistic visions of her passing by me vanished into a fog of memories as if she was never actually there. I tried to go about my day but my brain became the prisoner of my own thoughts and I held the broken key. Uneasiness took over me with the realization of not knowing when the next time I would see her would be.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Old, Married Couple
It was no issue being on time that night that I drove to pick her up for bowling. As a matter of fact, I was even a little early! I had everything under control: the place was picked out and I had two friends on the way there. A little over dressed for the occasion with black boots, jeans and a cropped blazer, I pulled up to her house and impatiently waited for her to come out. My normally well mannered heart-beats ripped through my shirt as she got in my car and we drove off.
As we separated into two teams, I realized my team mate was more then just a vision in bowling shoes. She was quite a bowler and the sole reason we were winning. The music got a little louder, the lights lowered and the room began to spin the more drinks we consumed. Somewhere between the bowling, dancing and the laughing, she got a little closer, a little touchier. Convinced that those were all friendly moves, her hand on my lower back was what officially changed my mind.
Our drive home was a little different than normal. With no awkward silence, we playfully bickered back and forth. Laughing, she compared us to an old, married couple and to her, I became like no one she has ever met before. As if we were deprived from all human contact for years, we stayed up until 5 a.m that morning talking about family and life. It was then that I realized she was like no one I have ever met before.
Friday, June 4, 2010
My Plan B
It was the next morning that I realized I was no longer the same. I was quickly falling though the cracks in the road of love she was building underneath my feet. It was her that I trapped inside my mind from the moment my eyes saw daylight and there was no letting her out. Hoping to see her name on the screen of my phone, I obsessively stared at it as I struggled to collect some courage to call her. To my advantage, she picked up on the third ring.
We kept the conversation short and sweet as I thanked her for the drinks and slid in my offer to return the favor soon. However, the brief satisfaction of the conversation faded and I was faced with the temptation of calling her again, but first, I needed a good reason. Too nervous to invite her for a night out just the two of us, I cooked up a brilliant Plan B. Build a last minute bowling team and bring her along as my partner! Simple. All I needed now was two people willing to come along and act as a distraction to the obvious smitten energy that radiated from my skin.
We kept the conversation short and sweet as I thanked her for the drinks and slid in my offer to return the favor soon. However, the brief satisfaction of the conversation faded and I was faced with the temptation of calling her again, but first, I needed a good reason. Too nervous to invite her for a night out just the two of us, I cooked up a brilliant Plan B. Build a last minute bowling team and bring her along as my partner! Simple. All I needed now was two people willing to come along and act as a distraction to the obvious smitten energy that radiated from my skin.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Seven Kisses, Fast!
It was a Wednesday afternoon when she told me that this was her last week at work. The sound of those words made me cringe as I asked a billion and one questions about her decision. She went on to tell me about her plans to go out that weekend and invited me to come along to Huntington Beach. Um...like I would turn down that invite! As the wheels started turning in my head, I realized that I finally had a excuse to ask for her number without looking completely creepy. All thought she did gave me the signs of possible interest, I still wasn't sure.
"Hey! Give me your number.." I reached for my phone and flipped it open. "... just in case."
"Ha ha ha...just in case of what?"
"You know, in case I need to call you or something." I said flustered as I handed her my phone. Mission Accomplished.
That Friday rolled around and my nerves of excitement started to kick in. It was now 7 p.m and I had exactly one hour until I needed to meet up with them. Even with my large selection of clothing, I still had nothing to wear. Nine p.m: I was still not ready and I was panicking!
As if she read my mind about me calling her, she beat me to the phone call.
"Where are you?! Are you still coming?" She yelled into the phone, music blaring in the background. She offered to come pick me up and told me to be outside my house in 15 minutes. At that point, I just threw on my first outfit option and ran out of my apartment to meet her.
I still remember this night vividly as I stood underneath the palm tree, waiting. Her head lights blinded me as she pulled up the drive way, windows rolled down, music turned up and Rabecca dancing in the passenger seat. With my waving hand in the air, I skipped my way to the car and jumped in. Her glances at me became more frequent and more intense through out the ride to Huntington and they made me melt right into the leather seats of her Lexus.
Fred's Mexican Restaurant sounded like a good place to begin our night with and with our luck, we got the VIP parking spot right in front of the place. Hard thing to do on a busy Friday night. Two things happen once I stepped out of the car: My purse got made fun of because it looked like a "school bag" and after struggling to defend it as the two of them laughed at my passionate arguments against what they said, with a smirk she called me "so precious." I think her last comment easily made up for the first one.
We stood by the bar, waiting for our table and studying the menu. At the moment, I couldn't think about anything else but getting closer to her. So, my menu went flying onto the bar and I made myself comfortable right next to her side. I wonder if she notices how close I actually am?
*My first clue of attraction: After pointing out I was getting inappropriately eyeballed by an
incredibly intoxicated guy, she sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my chair and shoulder. *
Few taco's and a dozen drinks later, a crowd of us cheerfully made our way to another bar. I stopped her mid walk to randomly announce to her that it was "Kisses time!" Before she even got a chance to react, I grabbed her head and with the speed of light, gave her seven kisses on her right cheek.
"My turn!" I shouted. "I want seven kisses and do it really fast!" I demanded as I turned my cheek towards her. Taken back by what just happened, she laughed and gladly delivered the seven quick kisses I asked for.
"Hey! Give me your number.." I reached for my phone and flipped it open. "... just in case."
"Ha ha ha...just in case of what?"
"You know, in case I need to call you or something." I said flustered as I handed her my phone. Mission Accomplished.
That Friday rolled around and my nerves of excitement started to kick in. It was now 7 p.m and I had exactly one hour until I needed to meet up with them. Even with my large selection of clothing, I still had nothing to wear. Nine p.m: I was still not ready and I was panicking!
As if she read my mind about me calling her, she beat me to the phone call.
"Where are you?! Are you still coming?" She yelled into the phone, music blaring in the background. She offered to come pick me up and told me to be outside my house in 15 minutes. At that point, I just threw on my first outfit option and ran out of my apartment to meet her.
I still remember this night vividly as I stood underneath the palm tree, waiting. Her head lights blinded me as she pulled up the drive way, windows rolled down, music turned up and Rabecca dancing in the passenger seat. With my waving hand in the air, I skipped my way to the car and jumped in. Her glances at me became more frequent and more intense through out the ride to Huntington and they made me melt right into the leather seats of her Lexus.
Fred's Mexican Restaurant sounded like a good place to begin our night with and with our luck, we got the VIP parking spot right in front of the place. Hard thing to do on a busy Friday night. Two things happen once I stepped out of the car: My purse got made fun of because it looked like a "school bag" and after struggling to defend it as the two of them laughed at my passionate arguments against what they said, with a smirk she called me "so precious." I think her last comment easily made up for the first one.
We stood by the bar, waiting for our table and studying the menu. At the moment, I couldn't think about anything else but getting closer to her. So, my menu went flying onto the bar and I made myself comfortable right next to her side. I wonder if she notices how close I actually am?
*My first clue of attraction: After pointing out I was getting inappropriately eyeballed by an
incredibly intoxicated guy, she sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my chair and shoulder. *
Few taco's and a dozen drinks later, a crowd of us cheerfully made our way to another bar. I stopped her mid walk to randomly announce to her that it was "Kisses time!" Before she even got a chance to react, I grabbed her head and with the speed of light, gave her seven kisses on her right cheek.
"My turn!" I shouted. "I want seven kisses and do it really fast!" I demanded as I turned my cheek towards her. Taken back by what just happened, she laughed and gladly delivered the seven quick kisses I asked for.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Native Chief Long Crotch
My silent moment of the day was broken by the loud ringing of the work phone. Annoyingly, I stomped my way to it, expecting a usual customer call. Before I got a chance to recite my greeting, a cheerful voice fluttered into my ear drum.
“Hi. It’s me. What are you doing for lunch?” With a pause of my heart beat, I forced to hide my expanding grin.
“No plans! Do you want to go to lunch?” My voice shook as I agreed to meet her in half an hour for our “lunch date.”
Those thirty minutes seemed liked hours as I nervously waited for her to show up at my counter. I obsessively applied and reapplied my make-up, trying not to look at the security cameras I knew she could see me from. (Although, secretly, I hoped she was watching.)
Wearing her gray skinny pants and a black button up shirt, she popped up behind me, her bright eyes blinding me with every glance. As we walked outside towards the benches, I closed my eyes while the summer breeze blew her scent and I inhaled with ever bit I had of me. We sat at a table in front of Red Robin, the umbrella above us barely shielding us from the sun. Too distracted to even look at our food, we shot scenarios and jokes at each other without hesitation.
“You know what I’ve noticed? As women get older, they start developing a receding crotch. You know… a really short torso and never ending legs!” I said as I got off my chair to demonstrate the walk I have witnessed from the older women. Her contagious laughter and loud clapping of the hands filled the air as I walked back and forth with my goofy wobble.
Our first nick names to each other: Native Chief Long Crotch and Large Crotch.
“Hi. It’s me. What are you doing for lunch?” With a pause of my heart beat, I forced to hide my expanding grin.
“No plans! Do you want to go to lunch?” My voice shook as I agreed to meet her in half an hour for our “lunch date.”
Those thirty minutes seemed liked hours as I nervously waited for her to show up at my counter. I obsessively applied and reapplied my make-up, trying not to look at the security cameras I knew she could see me from. (Although, secretly, I hoped she was watching.)
Wearing her gray skinny pants and a black button up shirt, she popped up behind me, her bright eyes blinding me with every glance. As we walked outside towards the benches, I closed my eyes while the summer breeze blew her scent and I inhaled with ever bit I had of me. We sat at a table in front of Red Robin, the umbrella above us barely shielding us from the sun. Too distracted to even look at our food, we shot scenarios and jokes at each other without hesitation.
“You know what I’ve noticed? As women get older, they start developing a receding crotch. You know… a really short torso and never ending legs!” I said as I got off my chair to demonstrate the walk I have witnessed from the older women. Her contagious laughter and loud clapping of the hands filled the air as I walked back and forth with my goofy wobble.
Our first nick names to each other: Native Chief Long Crotch and Large Crotch.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
You Had Me At Hello
The warm July sunshine crept through the large doors of Macy's and I desperately wished I was anywhere but at work. My day dragged as I restlessly paced around the counter looking for something to keep me occupied. Most of the time, you could catch me wandering around that store and not doing by job. Oddly enough, this specific day was different.
That warm July of 2008 is when I met her. In a crowd of gray people, she was the bright yellow sparkle that flew right to my Estee Lauder counter and smacked me in the face.
"Have you met?" Keri, my manager asked as she walked along side of Diane.
My smile stretched to each side of my face as I reached over to shake her hand. "Hi! It's nice to meet you!" The touch of her hand made my veins swell up with warmth as it fed my heart to violently try and escape my body.
With a grin, her strong voice shouted back "Hi" and she firmly shook my hand. For a second, I lost myself until Keri's sharp words rudely ripped and popped my floating, bubble-like state of mind.
"So... Mariana used to be a model. She was on a modeling competition show." I shyly smiled away from her comment with a shake of my head as I watched Diane's eyes pierced through me. With a goodbye, I watched them walk away with a strange desire of wanting more of her presence. I spent the rest of the day with her face engraved in my mind. Intoxicated by her beauty, the way she stood, the way she looked at me and the way she walked away made my body overflow with uncontrollable, electric shots of emotion. That night, I fell asleep rewinding and replaying each second of that unforgettable moment and the unexplained feelings.
As the days passed, I found myself anxious to get to work just to be able to see her. My usual effortless appearance of no make-up and pony tail hair got an upgrade as I was constantly on the look-out for this person I could not get my mind off of. Like a starving vulture, my eyes would scan the room for her and she would never got a chance to walk by unnoticed.
Our "Hi's" quickly turned into inside jokes and laughs the day I shocked her with my disastrously dramatic make-up a co-worker painted on me. She laughed and joked as I asked her if she liked it. Taken back by her reaction and jokes, I hurried away to wipe off my face just as she happened to walk by.
"You took off your make-up!" She said surprised. "You gave me a complex! I hope you're happy!" I shouted back at her as I joked.
As if she moved in slow motion, her words echoed in my ears. "I think you are absolutely beautiful without any make-up on." Those words cuddled me for days.
That warm July of 2008 is when I met her. In a crowd of gray people, she was the bright yellow sparkle that flew right to my Estee Lauder counter and smacked me in the face.
"Have you met?" Keri, my manager asked as she walked along side of Diane.
My smile stretched to each side of my face as I reached over to shake her hand. "Hi! It's nice to meet you!" The touch of her hand made my veins swell up with warmth as it fed my heart to violently try and escape my body.
With a grin, her strong voice shouted back "Hi" and she firmly shook my hand. For a second, I lost myself until Keri's sharp words rudely ripped and popped my floating, bubble-like state of mind.
"So... Mariana used to be a model. She was on a modeling competition show." I shyly smiled away from her comment with a shake of my head as I watched Diane's eyes pierced through me. With a goodbye, I watched them walk away with a strange desire of wanting more of her presence. I spent the rest of the day with her face engraved in my mind. Intoxicated by her beauty, the way she stood, the way she looked at me and the way she walked away made my body overflow with uncontrollable, electric shots of emotion. That night, I fell asleep rewinding and replaying each second of that unforgettable moment and the unexplained feelings.
As the days passed, I found myself anxious to get to work just to be able to see her. My usual effortless appearance of no make-up and pony tail hair got an upgrade as I was constantly on the look-out for this person I could not get my mind off of. Like a starving vulture, my eyes would scan the room for her and she would never got a chance to walk by unnoticed.
Our "Hi's" quickly turned into inside jokes and laughs the day I shocked her with my disastrously dramatic make-up a co-worker painted on me. She laughed and joked as I asked her if she liked it. Taken back by her reaction and jokes, I hurried away to wipe off my face just as she happened to walk by.
"You took off your make-up!" She said surprised. "You gave me a complex! I hope you're happy!" I shouted back at her as I joked.
As if she moved in slow motion, her words echoed in my ears. "I think you are absolutely beautiful without any make-up on." Those words cuddled me for days.
Monday, May 31, 2010
The day was 31st of May
Today I watched a heart helplessly shatter in between my fingers as I tried to glue it back together with my lies. My hands will forever be stained with the tear drops of the open wounds I have created. As the echos of the last words replay in my ears, I am left with the memory of what was once real.
And so my love story begins...
And so my love story begins...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
