Editing. Soon to come.

Editing. Soon to come.

Editing. Soon to come.

Editing. Soon to come.

Editing. Soon to come.

The Curious Case.

Months after reserving her as a date for the Curious Case of Benjamin Button movie, we had finally gone to see it that Sunday. Both hungry and a little tipsy from the drinks we had previous to watching the movie, we decided to go back to TuTu Tango for a late dinner. It was an unusually warm January evening and a perfect night for outside seating. The golden glow of the setting sun lightly illuminated our table as I awkwardly sat down; slowly dying with the anticipation of the well expected conversation that I knew was coming on. We ordered another round of drinks along with a few appetizers and after a brief moment of small talk, the conversation switched.

As the heat of my boiling blood rushed throughout my body, I sat across from her, fidgeting, unable to avoid the questions she was presenting me with. Although nervous of her reaction to my overdue confessions, this was the moment I have waited eight months for and I needed to embrace it. Over flown, my heart was about to spill over with built up emotions but my mouth became an unwanted filter I couldn't seem to turn off. Afraid of making eye contact, my eyes wondered around the open patio as I managed to tell her I had developed feelings for her.

There was a moment of frozen silence between us that she quickly melted with her words.
"I have developed feeling for you, too."

Late Night Text

That same Saturday, nine pm, I silenced my phone and threw myself face down on the bed. I wanted to vacuum out my overflowing thoughts before they had a chance to spill out on my pillow. The last place I needed them to be was on my pillow next to me, singing me a depressing lullaby. Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the whining violin sounds that were beginning to grow louder and I went back to creating my impractical scenarios - something I had become very familiar with.

Awake, I laid in bed with my eyes tightly shut. It was too early to be waking up on a Sunday morning. After various attempts to get comfortable and go back to sleep, I kicked the covers off myself and got out of bed, Avoiding any sort of eye contact with my phone, I tried to pass it as I made breakfast but my curiosity got the best of me. The bold letters of her name were patiently waited in my text massage inbox as unread.

"I can't stop thinking about you." I repeatedly read those words, carefully engraving them in my mind. Realizing the text was sent after I was asleep, I sent her a text back with an brief explanation and expressed how I couldn't stop thinking about her either. Although it was seven in the morning, there was no delay in her response.

"If you don't have any plans, lets hang out at one." Without hesitation, I agreed.

Unavailable Saturday

For the moment being, it felt as if time stood still. The seconds echoed in the silence of the darkness that swallowed us, making the electric sparks the only thing visible between us. Through the blur of my eyes, I saw that midnight had already approached and I was six hours and two homework assignments away from my Saturday class. I knew I had to go home. With my feet barely on the ground, I forcefully lifted my uncompromising body out of the bed that had devoured me for the last two hours. I felt her hands firmly grabbed onto mine as she pulled me closer and pleaded for me to stay. Hardly being able to resist the temptation of staying, I promised her that I would be back that same night as soon as I completed my obligations for the following day.

By five am, I was standing at her door step, my heavy eyelids struggling to stay open. Without hesitation, I immediately crawled into her pre-heated bed and snuggled towards her; the toasty warmth of her melting the frozen layer of my skin. Comfortably xhausted, she kissed me as I glued myself to her and fell into a deep and dreamy state of mind.

We were woken up by the bright rays of sunshine that snuck into the room through the crack of the curtains and I realized I was three hours late for class. Not wanting to rush to an already late class, I decided to just go in at the end to turn in my work.

As we lay wrapped up underneath the covers, I was hit by an unexpected serious conversation.

"Do you...like me?" She asked with confusion.

Unsure of her thoughts and feelings, I chose to avoid the question and quickly change the subject. The eight months of built up magnetic force made it impossible to separate from one another as I tried to peel myself off of her. In the middle of gathering my things, reality hit me in the face when she told me she had plans with her girlfriend and she would be unavailable to talk or hang out. Although disappointed, I understood.

Deep down, I knew I would not her from her that Saturday. However, my entire day was spent glancing at the phone with the hopes she might have changed her mind. With my heavy heart suffocating inside my tight chest, I cringed at the thought of the end before it even had a change to begin.

Transition to reality

Not wanting to go home, I invited myself to her house before she even had a chance to invite me in herself. Inhaling the familiar warm cotton scent, I was swallowed by the feathery comforter that was spread across her bed; the coolness of it wrapping around my tired body. As the sound of her soothing voice drew me closer to her, I nuzzled my head into her neck yet again. Silence filled the air making the peacefulness of the room intensify each breath and heartbeat as our faces gradually moved closer. Unsure of what was about to happen, I closed my eyes in an attempt to tame the forceful beating of my heart. Eight months previous to this day, this moment was nothing but an unrealistic thought that was now becoming reality. The wind of dizziness hit me across the face, impairing my ability to distinguish the difference between my imagination and actuality. That was until I felt warmth press up against my lips, melting two pairs into one.

You wouldn't do it...

I have never been a huge fan of basketball nor have I ever put in any effort in becoming one. Perhaps it was because I never had the right person to introduce me to the world of sports. It just happened that two weeks into January, she had two tickets to a Lakers game and she wanted me to accompany her. I had no idea I was about to experience a night that would be considered the most memorable of my life.

Obligated to be at my internship that Friday, I drove back to her house mid rush hour, just to be able to drive to the game with her. The game was not until 7 that night, however, with the ever growing traffic, if we didn't leave 3 hours in advance, we would end up missing the first quarter of the game. Half way through the drive, the sun was beginning to set and the traffic was getting worse. Due to the openly flirtatious relationship we had kicked the year off with, I decided to finally take the matter into my own hands.

As the 5 o'clock radio traffic music played and we barely moved on the five freeway, I nuzzled my head on her shoulder and my hands tightly wrapped around her right arm. She kept one hand on the wheel and one on the gear shift, occasionally turning her head to look and smile at me. It didn't take long for her to rest her hand on my knee and eventually ease into frequent love squeezes. With my eyes closed, I felt her warm breath hit my face. She leaned down and gently kissed my forehead, her scorching lips melting their outline onto my cool skin.

Lifting my head, I moved my face closer to her and playfully tempted her to kiss me. I kept on repeating "You wouldn't do it" knowing those words would eventually make her prove me wrong. The moving of my mouth was silenced as she moved that extra inch closer and gave me a peck on the lips. With a slight smile, I nuzzled my head back on her shoulder and we preceded to drive to the game.

The Lakers game was a blur. With my mind preoccupied with the thoughts of the kiss, I was no longer interested in the game. As the euphoric energy seeped through my pores and spread in the air around us, my imagination ran wild as I hoped it would soon become reality.

New Year = New Beginnings

The end of December was approaching and we both parted ways to bring in the New Year in our hometowns. Frequent separation between us was common, but what was uncommon about this specific time is that we could not stay away from talking. After eight months of my evident indications of interest, it seemed as she was finally coming to a realization that she had developed feelings for me. Over the next few days, we began to flood each other's phones with l0ve-y text messages. My every waking moment of the day was spent on the phone with her and when the clock hit 11:59 P.M on December 31st, I was the first one to call her and wish her a happy New Year.

However, I couldnt help but wonder if the motivation of this dramatically differnt change of pace had anything to do with the incredible Chirstams dinner I made for her...
Regardless of the motivation, the direction of where we were heading was becoming visibly clear.

The Late Birthday

My predictions were becoming frighteningly accurate. The anger and hurt I felt withered away when she called me almost two weeks later. She was curious as to why I never showed up to her dinner and swore she never got my text and missed call. Although I found that to be very strange, I decided to let it go and meet up with her for her late birthday dinner at my favorite restaurant.

This time, surprisingly, she was the one running late. Unusually warm for a December night, I sat in front of the restaurant on a patted bench and waited for her to arrive. I saw her approaching me from the distance and I quickly jumped up and skipped over to her. She picked me up and twirled me around in the air as I suffocated her with my hugs.

Considering the unarguably gorgeous night, we requested to sit on the patio. The blurred, multi-colored string lights that dangled above our table reflected in our cups of hot Jasmine tea, the fragrant steam rising and warming up my face. In the midst of losing ourselves in profoundly stimulating conversation and the romantic setting, I could not stop myself from falling for this amazing person that sat in front of me.

It was only ten by the time we got done with dinner and we decided we could go for a few drinks at the bar she celebrated her birthday at. Being too early for the bar to be packed, we found a secluded table with ease. It didn't take long for her to move her chair closer to me where we continued with our flirtatious conversation. She was becoming more comfortable around me. As our alcohol consumption increase, her hand became permanently glued to my leg and I struggled to catch my breath as my head spun out of control. Overwhelmed with confusion, disbelief and pure joy, I had no intention of stopping her.

Tu Tu Tango

November was indeed an eventful month. With finals approaching, I impatiently sat in class the afternoon of the birthday dinner, my mind nowhere near being in the state of present. Trapped in the deadly silence of the room, I forced myself to focus on a path that wouldn't lead to another daydreaming session. As usual, my mind retaliated against my wishes.

Her dinner had already begun by the time I got out of class. As the love affair between nervous and excited progressed, I raced home for a quick shower and wardrobe change. Annoyed at the fact that I was already 45 minutes late, I sent her a text letting her know I would soon be on my way and if they would still be at Tu Tu Tango. Ten minutes later, there was still no response from her so I decided to call her.

My excitement slapped my heart across the face as the long ringing led me to her voicemail. Convinced that I was avoided due to her girlfriend being present at the dinner, I sat on the couch in my black party dress watching my every dash of hope being squeezed out of my heart.

With anger following in the foot steps of hurt, I made yet another promise to myself that would soon be nothing but an empty one.

11:45 p.m.

Stealing October's spotlight, November made its breezy appearance, bringing along a full and uncompromisable agenda. With her birthday days away, I was 30,000 feet off the ground and half way to my Northwest destination to see my family.

After nine long months, it felt good to finally be back in my hometown, spending my long awaited Friday night celebrating with my closest friends. The downtown cobblestone path led five laughing girls to a night of bar hopping and as our round of drinks doubled, so did our vision. With the flashing lights guiding us to the dance floor, my cell phone became my only focus and dancing partner.

Wanting to be the first to wish her a happy birthday, I spent my 11th hour of the night obsessively checking my phone for the time. With my anticipation growing, I was unable to wait any longer. Fifteen minutes to November 15th and three rings later, I was loudly singing my own verison of happy birthday in her ear. She seemed shocked that I remembered and managed to be the first one to call especially when I, as well, was out celebrating with my friends.

Being a believer that a special person deserves more then one happy birthday phone call, I followed my previous call with three others. Along with more birthday wishes and obnoxious singing, I promised not to miss her birthday dinner later that week.

The Next Level

The golden flame of the flickering candle lit our tucked away table where she sat across from me in deep thought, swirling her half empty glass of red wine. I nervously watched as she internally wrestled with her words, slowly killing me with the suspense.

"There is a reason I invited you out tonight." She said, finally breaking the silence.

Three weeks had passed since I last saw her and I was prepared for anything but a serious conversation. From the looks of her third glass of wine, she wasn't prepared either. My intensive confused stares finally made her speak.

"I wanted to meet up with you and apologize in person for disappearing for the last few weeks." Taking a sip of my wine, I waited with apprehension for her to put all my wondering and questioning to rest.

"I think I should probably explain. I am dating someone...and she is not ok with us hanging out. We can't a hang out as frequently anymore." Unsure of what to feel, I assured her I had no alternative motives other then friendship and that her girlfriend was just over reacting. Already neck deep in a pool of overflowing emotions, having her permanently disappear from my life was not an option and I was willing to do anything to keep her from vanishing.

Not ready to end our night, we walked over to a sports bar where I was soon to be left with more confusion then what I originally came in with. Swallowed into a dim corner by the darkness of the bar, everything around us faded into shadows as she moved closer to me. With her face inches away from mine, she was flirtatiously pushing the boundaries of our friendship forcing the deep pounding of my heart to echo in my hollow chest.

As her actions contradicted her words, I knew we were no longer on a friendship level.