Editing. Soon to come.

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Editing. Soon to come.

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The Curious Case.

Months after reserving her as a date for the Curious Case of Benjamin Button movie, we had finally gone to see it that Sunday. Both hungry and a little tipsy from the drinks we had previous to watching the movie, we decided to go back to TuTu Tango for a late dinner. It was an unusually warm January evening and a perfect night for outside seating. The golden glow of the setting sun lightly illuminated our table as I awkwardly sat down; slowly dying with the anticipation of the well expected conversation that I knew was coming on. We ordered another round of drinks along with a few appetizers and after a brief moment of small talk, the conversation switched.

As the heat of my boiling blood rushed throughout my body, I sat across from her, fidgeting, unable to avoid the questions she was presenting me with. Although nervous of her reaction to my overdue confessions, this was the moment I have waited eight months for and I needed to embrace it. Over flown, my heart was about to spill over with built up emotions but my mouth became an unwanted filter I couldn't seem to turn off. Afraid of making eye contact, my eyes wondered around the open patio as I managed to tell her I had developed feelings for her.

There was a moment of frozen silence between us that she quickly melted with her words.
"I have developed feeling for you, too."

Late Night Text

That same Saturday, nine pm, I silenced my phone and threw myself face down on the bed. I wanted to vacuum out my overflowing thoughts before they had a chance to spill out on my pillow. The last place I needed them to be was on my pillow next to me, singing me a depressing lullaby. Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the whining violin sounds that were beginning to grow louder and I went back to creating my impractical scenarios - something I had become very familiar with.

Awake, I laid in bed with my eyes tightly shut. It was too early to be waking up on a Sunday morning. After various attempts to get comfortable and go back to sleep, I kicked the covers off myself and got out of bed, Avoiding any sort of eye contact with my phone, I tried to pass it as I made breakfast but my curiosity got the best of me. The bold letters of her name were patiently waited in my text massage inbox as unread.

"I can't stop thinking about you." I repeatedly read those words, carefully engraving them in my mind. Realizing the text was sent after I was asleep, I sent her a text back with an brief explanation and expressed how I couldn't stop thinking about her either. Although it was seven in the morning, there was no delay in her response.

"If you don't have any plans, lets hang out at one." Without hesitation, I agreed.

Unavailable Saturday

For the moment being, it felt as if time stood still. The seconds echoed in the silence of the darkness that swallowed us, making the electric sparks the only thing visible between us. Through the blur of my eyes, I saw that midnight had already approached and I was six hours and two homework assignments away from my Saturday class. I knew I had to go home. With my feet barely on the ground, I forcefully lifted my uncompromising body out of the bed that had devoured me for the last two hours. I felt her hands firmly grabbed onto mine as she pulled me closer and pleaded for me to stay. Hardly being able to resist the temptation of staying, I promised her that I would be back that same night as soon as I completed my obligations for the following day.

By five am, I was standing at her door step, my heavy eyelids struggling to stay open. Without hesitation, I immediately crawled into her pre-heated bed and snuggled towards her; the toasty warmth of her melting the frozen layer of my skin. Comfortably xhausted, she kissed me as I glued myself to her and fell into a deep and dreamy state of mind.

We were woken up by the bright rays of sunshine that snuck into the room through the crack of the curtains and I realized I was three hours late for class. Not wanting to rush to an already late class, I decided to just go in at the end to turn in my work.

As we lay wrapped up underneath the covers, I was hit by an unexpected serious conversation.

"Do you...like me?" She asked with confusion.

Unsure of her thoughts and feelings, I chose to avoid the question and quickly change the subject. The eight months of built up magnetic force made it impossible to separate from one another as I tried to peel myself off of her. In the middle of gathering my things, reality hit me in the face when she told me she had plans with her girlfriend and she would be unavailable to talk or hang out. Although disappointed, I understood.

Deep down, I knew I would not her from her that Saturday. However, my entire day was spent glancing at the phone with the hopes she might have changed her mind. With my heavy heart suffocating inside my tight chest, I cringed at the thought of the end before it even had a change to begin.

Transition to reality

Not wanting to go home, I invited myself to her house before she even had a chance to invite me in herself. Inhaling the familiar warm cotton scent, I was swallowed by the feathery comforter that was spread across her bed; the coolness of it wrapping around my tired body. As the sound of her soothing voice drew me closer to her, I nuzzled my head into her neck yet again. Silence filled the air making the peacefulness of the room intensify each breath and heartbeat as our faces gradually moved closer. Unsure of what was about to happen, I closed my eyes in an attempt to tame the forceful beating of my heart. Eight months previous to this day, this moment was nothing but an unrealistic thought that was now becoming reality. The wind of dizziness hit me across the face, impairing my ability to distinguish the difference between my imagination and actuality. That was until I felt warmth press up against my lips, melting two pairs into one.

You wouldn't do it...

I have never been a huge fan of basketball nor have I ever put in any effort in becoming one. Perhaps it was because I never had the right person to introduce me to the world of sports. It just happened that two weeks into January, she had two tickets to a Lakers game and she wanted me to accompany her. I had no idea I was about to experience a night that would be considered the most memorable of my life.

Obligated to be at my internship that Friday, I drove back to her house mid rush hour, just to be able to drive to the game with her. The game was not until 7 that night, however, with the ever growing traffic, if we didn't leave 3 hours in advance, we would end up missing the first quarter of the game. Half way through the drive, the sun was beginning to set and the traffic was getting worse. Due to the openly flirtatious relationship we had kicked the year off with, I decided to finally take the matter into my own hands.

As the 5 o'clock radio traffic music played and we barely moved on the five freeway, I nuzzled my head on her shoulder and my hands tightly wrapped around her right arm. She kept one hand on the wheel and one on the gear shift, occasionally turning her head to look and smile at me. It didn't take long for her to rest her hand on my knee and eventually ease into frequent love squeezes. With my eyes closed, I felt her warm breath hit my face. She leaned down and gently kissed my forehead, her scorching lips melting their outline onto my cool skin.

Lifting my head, I moved my face closer to her and playfully tempted her to kiss me. I kept on repeating "You wouldn't do it" knowing those words would eventually make her prove me wrong. The moving of my mouth was silenced as she moved that extra inch closer and gave me a peck on the lips. With a slight smile, I nuzzled my head back on her shoulder and we preceded to drive to the game.

The Lakers game was a blur. With my mind preoccupied with the thoughts of the kiss, I was no longer interested in the game. As the euphoric energy seeped through my pores and spread in the air around us, my imagination ran wild as I hoped it would soon become reality.

New Year = New Beginnings

The end of December was approaching and we both parted ways to bring in the New Year in our hometowns. Frequent separation between us was common, but what was uncommon about this specific time is that we could not stay away from talking. After eight months of my evident indications of interest, it seemed as she was finally coming to a realization that she had developed feelings for me. Over the next few days, we began to flood each other's phones with l0ve-y text messages. My every waking moment of the day was spent on the phone with her and when the clock hit 11:59 P.M on December 31st, I was the first one to call her and wish her a happy New Year.

However, I couldnt help but wonder if the motivation of this dramatically differnt change of pace had anything to do with the incredible Chirstams dinner I made for her...
Regardless of the motivation, the direction of where we were heading was becoming visibly clear.

The Late Birthday

My predictions were becoming frighteningly accurate. The anger and hurt I felt withered away when she called me almost two weeks later. She was curious as to why I never showed up to her dinner and swore she never got my text and missed call. Although I found that to be very strange, I decided to let it go and meet up with her for her late birthday dinner at my favorite restaurant.

This time, surprisingly, she was the one running late. Unusually warm for a December night, I sat in front of the restaurant on a patted bench and waited for her to arrive. I saw her approaching me from the distance and I quickly jumped up and skipped over to her. She picked me up and twirled me around in the air as I suffocated her with my hugs.

Considering the unarguably gorgeous night, we requested to sit on the patio. The blurred, multi-colored string lights that dangled above our table reflected in our cups of hot Jasmine tea, the fragrant steam rising and warming up my face. In the midst of losing ourselves in profoundly stimulating conversation and the romantic setting, I could not stop myself from falling for this amazing person that sat in front of me.

It was only ten by the time we got done with dinner and we decided we could go for a few drinks at the bar she celebrated her birthday at. Being too early for the bar to be packed, we found a secluded table with ease. It didn't take long for her to move her chair closer to me where we continued with our flirtatious conversation. She was becoming more comfortable around me. As our alcohol consumption increase, her hand became permanently glued to my leg and I struggled to catch my breath as my head spun out of control. Overwhelmed with confusion, disbelief and pure joy, I had no intention of stopping her.

Tu Tu Tango

November was indeed an eventful month. With finals approaching, I impatiently sat in class the afternoon of the birthday dinner, my mind nowhere near being in the state of present. Trapped in the deadly silence of the room, I forced myself to focus on a path that wouldn't lead to another daydreaming session. As usual, my mind retaliated against my wishes.

Her dinner had already begun by the time I got out of class. As the love affair between nervous and excited progressed, I raced home for a quick shower and wardrobe change. Annoyed at the fact that I was already 45 minutes late, I sent her a text letting her know I would soon be on my way and if they would still be at Tu Tu Tango. Ten minutes later, there was still no response from her so I decided to call her.

My excitement slapped my heart across the face as the long ringing led me to her voicemail. Convinced that I was avoided due to her girlfriend being present at the dinner, I sat on the couch in my black party dress watching my every dash of hope being squeezed out of my heart.

With anger following in the foot steps of hurt, I made yet another promise to myself that would soon be nothing but an empty one.

11:45 p.m.

Stealing October's spotlight, November made its breezy appearance, bringing along a full and uncompromisable agenda. With her birthday days away, I was 30,000 feet off the ground and half way to my Northwest destination to see my family.

After nine long months, it felt good to finally be back in my hometown, spending my long awaited Friday night celebrating with my closest friends. The downtown cobblestone path led five laughing girls to a night of bar hopping and as our round of drinks doubled, so did our vision. With the flashing lights guiding us to the dance floor, my cell phone became my only focus and dancing partner.

Wanting to be the first to wish her a happy birthday, I spent my 11th hour of the night obsessively checking my phone for the time. With my anticipation growing, I was unable to wait any longer. Fifteen minutes to November 15th and three rings later, I was loudly singing my own verison of happy birthday in her ear. She seemed shocked that I remembered and managed to be the first one to call especially when I, as well, was out celebrating with my friends.

Being a believer that a special person deserves more then one happy birthday phone call, I followed my previous call with three others. Along with more birthday wishes and obnoxious singing, I promised not to miss her birthday dinner later that week.

The Next Level

The golden flame of the flickering candle lit our tucked away table where she sat across from me in deep thought, swirling her half empty glass of red wine. I nervously watched as she internally wrestled with her words, slowly killing me with the suspense.

"There is a reason I invited you out tonight." She said, finally breaking the silence.

Three weeks had passed since I last saw her and I was prepared for anything but a serious conversation. From the looks of her third glass of wine, she wasn't prepared either. My intensive confused stares finally made her speak.

"I wanted to meet up with you and apologize in person for disappearing for the last few weeks." Taking a sip of my wine, I waited with apprehension for her to put all my wondering and questioning to rest.

"I think I should probably explain. I am dating someone...and she is not ok with us hanging out. We can't a hang out as frequently anymore." Unsure of what to feel, I assured her I had no alternative motives other then friendship and that her girlfriend was just over reacting. Already neck deep in a pool of overflowing emotions, having her permanently disappear from my life was not an option and I was willing to do anything to keep her from vanishing.

Not ready to end our night, we walked over to a sports bar where I was soon to be left with more confusion then what I originally came in with. Swallowed into a dim corner by the darkness of the bar, everything around us faded into shadows as she moved closer to me. With her face inches away from mine, she was flirtatiously pushing the boundaries of our friendship forcing the deep pounding of my heart to echo in my hollow chest.

As her actions contradicted her words, I knew we were no longer on a friendship level.

Hot and Cold

Weeks would pass without me seeing or hearing from her and I would feel as if a strange distance was beginning to growing between us. I never could understand where it came from mainly because in person that distance was non-existent. I drove myself insane with the thoughts of her and the possible scenarios as to why it had to be this way.

In rare occasions, as an escape from my unmanageable thoughts, I would phone her only to be disappointed by the sound of her voicemail. Each time I would make myself an empty promise of giving up on my unrealistic fantasy, but I would find myself disregarding every promise when it was her voice I heard on the other end of the line.

We went from hot to cold when it came to seeing each other and each time my withdrawals became a little tougher to handle. After experiencing couple of cold weeks, we immediately jumped into hot:

1. Met up to watch Pineapple Express and had crapes afterwords. She took my flirt radar for a spin with her sexual innuendos that could be taken both ways but were clearly not innocent.

2. Invited me to her house one Sunday morning for Mimosas. In my pink juicy sweats, white thermal and pony tail, Mimosas were nowhere in sight. Instead we spend the afternoon lounging on her bed as I flirtatiously played with her hair for hours.

3. Picked me up at 8 a.m the following Sunday and took me to church with her.

Anxious to see her again, I booked her two months in advance for a date to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button in December, just to secure my place in her schedule. And then, without a warning, we were back to cold.

Dinner Delivery

It was a quiet, warm night and the outside grill was whispering my name. A little hungry, I pulled out the lamp chops from the freezer and headed to the grill. The crispy smoke lifted and I was soon surrounded by the mouthwatering smell. I know one person that shares the same appreciation for food as myself that would love my grilled lamb I thought to myself.

Watching the smoke disappear into the air, I indulged in my boiling pot of magical thoughts of sharing my dinner with her. As if my thinking was loud enough for her to hear, the ringing of my phone woke me up from my daydream. She told me she was watching a basketball game and thought of me. I jumped to the opportunity to tell her I was grilling lamb and it made me think of her and I offered to bring her home dinner delivery of grilled lamb.

"How long would it take for you to come over?" At this point, I didn't care whether she was asking because she wanted lamb or because she wanted to see me. Half an hour later, I arrived at her front step. Amidst all the excitement and fuss, I realized I had forgotten her lamb dinner.

I continuously apologized as she laughed it off and made fun of my air-head move. I offered to drive back and get it, but she instructed that I was to sit down in front of her t.v and distracted me with Family Guy. Loosing ourselves in deep conversation, we snacked on chips and the obnoxious lines of Stewie and Brian slowly faded into the background. As delicious as that lamb dinner might have been, it could have never compared to what we shared over those bland chips.

Fading Sparkle

The colors her presence once brought into my life slowly began to fade away with each day that she was not at work. My almost realistic visions of her passing by me vanished into a fog of memories as if she was never actually there. I tried to go about my day but my brain became the prisoner of my own thoughts and I held the broken key. Uneasiness took over me with the realization of not knowing when the next time I would see her would be.

Old, Married Couple

It was no issue being on time that night that I drove to pick her up for bowling. As a matter of fact, I was even a little early! I had everything under control: the place was picked out and I had two friends on the way there. A little over dressed for the occasion with black boots, jeans and a cropped blazer, I pulled up to her house and impatiently waited for her to come out. My normally well mannered heart-beats ripped through my shirt as she got in my car and we drove off.

As we separated into two teams, I realized my team mate was more then just a vision in bowling shoes. She was quite a bowler and the sole reason we were winning. The music got a little louder, the lights lowered and the room began to spin the more drinks we consumed. Somewhere between the bowling, dancing and the laughing, she got a little closer, a little touchier. Convinced that those were all friendly moves, her hand on my lower back was what officially changed my mind.

Our drive home was a little different than normal. With no awkward silence, we playfully bickered back and forth. Laughing, she compared us to an old, married couple and to her, I became like no one she has ever met before. As if we were deprived from all human contact for years, we stayed up until 5 a.m that morning talking about family and life. It was then that I realized she was like no one I have ever met before.

My Plan B

It was the next morning that I realized I was no longer the same. I was quickly falling though the cracks in the road of love she was building underneath my feet. It was her that I trapped inside my mind from the moment my eyes saw daylight and there was no letting her out. Hoping to see her name on the screen of my phone, I obsessively stared at it as I struggled to collect some courage to call her. To my advantage, she picked up on the third ring.

We kept the conversation short and sweet as I thanked her for the drinks and slid in my offer to return the favor soon. However, the brief satisfaction of the conversation faded and I was faced with the temptation of calling her again, but first, I needed a good reason. Too nervous to invite her for a night out just the two of us, I cooked up a brilliant Plan B. Build a last minute bowling team and bring her along as my partner! Simple. All I needed now was two people willing to come along and act as a distraction to the obvious smitten energy that radiated from my skin.

Seven Kisses, Fast!

It was a Wednesday afternoon when she told me that this was her last week at work. The sound of those words made me cringe as I asked a billion and one questions about her decision. She went on to tell me about her plans to go out that weekend and invited me to come along to Huntington Beach. Um...like I would turn down that invite! As the wheels started turning in my head, I realized that I finally had a excuse to ask for her number without looking completely creepy. All thought she did gave me the signs of possible interest, I still wasn't sure.

"Hey! Give me your number.." I reached for my phone and flipped it open. "... just in case."

"Ha ha ha...just in case of what?"

"You know, in case I need to call you or something." I said flustered as I handed her my phone. Mission Accomplished.

That Friday rolled around and my nerves of excitement started to kick in. It was now 7 p.m and I had exactly one hour until I needed to meet up with them. Even with my large selection of clothing, I still had nothing to wear. Nine p.m: I was still not ready and I was panicking!
As if she read my mind about me calling her, she beat me to the phone call.

"Where are you?! Are you still coming?" She yelled into the phone, music blaring in the background. She offered to come pick me up and told me to be outside my house in 15 minutes. At that point, I just threw on my first outfit option and ran out of my apartment to meet her.

I still remember this night vividly as I stood underneath the palm tree, waiting. Her head lights blinded me as she pulled up the drive way, windows rolled down, music turned up and Rabecca dancing in the passenger seat. With my waving hand in the air, I skipped my way to the car and jumped in. Her glances at me became more frequent and more intense through out the ride to Huntington and they made me melt right into the leather seats of her Lexus.

Fred's Mexican Restaurant sounded like a good place to begin our night with and with our luck, we got the VIP parking spot right in front of the place. Hard thing to do on a busy Friday night. Two things happen once I stepped out of the car: My purse got made fun of because it looked like a "school bag" and after struggling to defend it as the two of them laughed at my passionate arguments against what they said, with a smirk she called me "so precious." I think her last comment easily made up for the first one.

We stood by the bar, waiting for our table and studying the menu. At the moment, I couldn't think about anything else but getting closer to her. So, my menu went flying onto the bar and I made myself comfortable right next to her side. I wonder if she notices how close I actually am?

*My first clue of attraction: After pointing out I was getting inappropriately eyeballed by an
incredibly intoxicated guy, she sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my chair and shoulder. *

Few taco's and a dozen drinks later, a crowd of us cheerfully made our way to another bar. I stopped her mid walk to randomly announce to her that it was "Kisses time!" Before she even got a chance to react, I grabbed her head and with the speed of light, gave her seven kisses on her right cheek.

"My turn!" I shouted. "I want seven kisses and do it really fast!" I demanded as I turned my cheek towards her. Taken back by what just happened, she laughed and gladly delivered the seven quick kisses I asked for.

Native Chief Long Crotch

My silent moment of the day was broken by the loud ringing of the work phone. Annoyingly, I stomped my way to it, expecting a usual customer call. Before I got a chance to recite my greeting, a cheerful voice fluttered into my ear drum.

“Hi. It’s me. What are you doing for lunch?” With a pause of my heart beat, I forced to hide my expanding grin.

“No plans! Do you want to go to lunch?” My voice shook as I agreed to meet her in half an hour for our “lunch date.”

Those thirty minutes seemed liked hours as I nervously waited for her to show up at my counter. I obsessively applied and reapplied my make-up, trying not to look at the security cameras I knew she could see me from. (Although, secretly, I hoped she was watching.)

Wearing her gray skinny pants and a black button up shirt, she popped up behind me, her bright eyes blinding me with every glance. As we walked outside towards the benches, I closed my eyes while the summer breeze blew her scent and I inhaled with ever bit I had of me. We sat at a table in front of Red Robin, the umbrella above us barely shielding us from the sun. Too distracted to even look at our food, we shot scenarios and jokes at each other without hesitation.

“You know what I’ve noticed? As women get older, they start developing a receding crotch. You know… a really short torso and never ending legs!” I said as I got off my chair to demonstrate the walk I have witnessed from the older women. Her contagious laughter and loud clapping of the hands filled the air as I walked back and forth with my goofy wobble.

Our first nick names to each other: Native Chief Long Crotch and Large Crotch.

You Had Me At Hello

The warm July sunshine crept through the large doors of Macy's and I desperately wished I was anywhere but at work. My day dragged as I restlessly paced around the counter looking for something to keep me occupied. Most of the time, you could catch me wandering around that store and not doing by job. Oddly enough, this specific day was different.

That warm July of 2008 is when I met her. In a crowd of gray people, she was the bright yellow sparkle that flew right to my Estee Lauder counter and smacked me in the face.

"Have you met?" Keri, my manager asked as she walked along side of Diane.

My smile stretched to each side of my face as I reached over to shake her hand. "Hi! It's nice to meet you!" The touch of her hand made my veins swell up with warmth as it fed my heart to violently try and escape my body.

With a grin, her strong voice shouted back "Hi" and she firmly shook my hand. For a second, I lost myself until Keri's sharp words rudely ripped and popped my floating, bubble-like state of mind.

"So... Mariana used to be a model. She was on a modeling competition show." I shyly smiled away from her comment with a shake of my head as I watched Diane's eyes pierced through me. With a goodbye, I watched them walk away with a strange desire of wanting more of her presence. I spent the rest of the day with her face engraved in my mind. Intoxicated by her beauty, the way she stood, the way she looked at me and the way she walked away made my body overflow with uncontrollable, electric shots of emotion. That night, I fell asleep rewinding and replaying each second of that unforgettable moment and the unexplained feelings.

As the days passed, I found myself anxious to get to work just to be able to see her. My usual effortless appearance of no make-up and pony tail hair got an upgrade as I was constantly on the look-out for this person I could not get my mind off of. Like a starving vulture, my eyes would scan the room for her and she would never got a chance to walk by unnoticed.

Our "Hi's" quickly turned into inside jokes and laughs the day I shocked her with my disastrously dramatic make-up a co-worker painted on me. She laughed and joked as I asked her if she liked it. Taken back by her reaction and jokes, I hurried away to wipe off my face just as she happened to walk by.

"You took off your make-up!" She said surprised. "You gave me a complex! I hope you're happy!" I shouted back at her as I joked.
As if she moved in slow motion, her words echoed in my ears. "I think you are absolutely beautiful without any make-up on." Those words cuddled me for days.

The day was 31st of May

Today I watched a heart helplessly shatter in between my fingers as I tried to glue it back together with my lies. My hands will forever be stained with the tear drops of the open wounds I have created. As the echos of the last words replay in my ears, I am left with the memory of what was once real.

And so my love story begins...